SEE IT!?? No, I have hope that Superman can finally pull it off, he has a great story but he has had so many bad directors and writers that we should give the big guy one more chance. I have to say, though, this is probably his last chance.
Well, there you have it kids, a wonderful batch of heroism, comedy, and that’s about it since they only seem to release a movie a weekend. Remember to have fun and we will see you at the theater.
Twelve years ago, now, Max Payne ushered in what was supposed to be a new look in video games. You had a gritty, noir styled story, surround by a lot of gun play and bullet time. Now, bullet time was the new 3D, it was the new gimmick used by Hollywood to get people into the theaters. It didn’t take off, the technology was too expensive and once the novelty was lost, the tech went with it. Before that, though, games like Max Payne capitalized on it. You, as Max Payne, for no explainable reason, could slow down time and shoot up a whole room as long as your meter was full. You could jump, or just run, and no matter what, slow down time at a push of a button.
Bullet time alone isn’t what made Max Payne great, it was the incredible conspiracy filled story that held our interest. It wasn’t enough that this was a standard revenge plot but also a great progression piece. You start off by going after punks, then gangsters, all the way up to mercenaries with body armor. On the one hand you have Max Payne out to get the people who killed his family, but on the other hand you learn just how deep that conspiracy goes and what it has done to our world. It is up to Max Payne to set the wrong things right.
The only way to do that is to kill everyone who gets in his way and there are lots of people who get in his way. That said, the ultimate saving grace of this game is the noir style narration that is pure poetry. Max is the ultimate tough guy, practically invincible in his quest for revenge and the truth. He is such a real, down to earth character that it is difficult not to root for him as you join him on his journey.
Truth be told they don’t make games like this anymore. Max Payne was able to spawn two sequels and one awful movie starring Mark Walberg who played Max in name only. The completely butchered the story and only gave us half of it. No wonder they didn’t get a sequel. As for the game itself it is still playable on the Xbox 360 so if you have the chance then this is a movie you have to…
PLAY IT!!
Yes, rip offs, is there any more sweeter sound than that to the struggling movie producer?? No, I don’t think so. Think about it like today, we are in the Golden Age of Superhero movies, I mean come on, Iron Man 3 made a billion alone, they are hot properties. However, you can’t just rip off something from Marvel or DC unless you have the budget, right? So, what to you do?? You take an idea like Kick Ass and you make cheap knockoffs in movies like “Super”, “Defendor”, and such. Now why do I tell you all of this?? I want you to get the inspiration for Spacehunter, and what makes it so great.
First, you have to thinking Star Wars. Now, you have Peter Strauss as Han Solo, you have Ernie Hudson as Lando, and you have Molly Ringwald as a combo Leia/C3P0. There is a robot, of course, a pleasurebot who is played by the sexy Andrea Marcovicci (wow, what great legs) [oh and it is PG so relax]. The story centers around three women who we never talk to and only scream all the time, who get kidnapped after their leisure spacecraft blows up. Considering where they landed, they might be thinking that the people who died were the lucky ones. That said, after a huge reward was put out for their safe return our Spacehunter Wolff heads to the planet to “rescue” them. Along the way he meets up with local tracker Nikki (played by a very messy Molly Ringwald) and his old buddy Washington (played by Ernie Hudson trying desperately hard not to be confused with Lando). He also meets up with several of the dangerous, disgusting, and completely unnecessary residents of this planet while driving to save the ladies. If you can imagine a movie where the Odyssey meets Mad Max meets Star Wars then you get Spacehunter!!
So, how does this corny, cheesy, rip off of a movie get a place on my “forgotten classics” board given my incredibly high standards?? Well, because it is a pure 80s flick through and through. It was made in 1983, one year before Molly Ringwald had her breakout hit “16 Candles”. She was 15 at the time of Spacehunter and, go figure, she was actually 16 when “16 Candles” came out. So, if you are in the mood for brainless fun, pure popcorn excitement, and the glory that was the 80s then Spacehunter is a movie you got to…
SEE!!
In the plot/history segment of the movie, it was said that the planet was first discovered and explored in 2013 (this year)